THE PHILOSOPHY OF REGRET Ali Rıza Gelirli
THE PHILOSOPHY OF REGRET Ali Rıza Gelirli
Those who see the title of the article may think that I am looking for a cover for regret. Let them think, there is no harm in it. However, I think that regret is neither an absolute good nor an absolute bad thing. It is a virtue for a person to realize that a word or a behavior they say is wrong; even if it is perceived as weakness (the dominant attitude) in society or within the group they are in, this is the case..
Life is something that is understood after it is lived. Theories about how a real life will be without living it are doomed to be theories. It is necessary to live in order to regret or not to regret… Let me say something even more ambitious, there would be no philosophy if there were no regret. Yes, I am aware of how ambitious I am saying something. Since we cannot find the most "correct" or "beautiful" of every thought and every behavior at once - which is usually the case - then in order to find beauty and truth, a process of regret - "cooking" - must be experienced. Since philosophy is also an effort to reach "good" and "beautiful" knowledge; since it is a journey from the disadvantageous to the possible; from the wrong to the right... So, we will find the good and the beautiful by trying, making mistakes, making mistakes, and ultimately regretting. I do not want to imply that regret is indispensable here. Humans are not creatures that have to regret, of course it is possible to find the right without regretting..
Does a person not have regrets? Of course they can, and even they should... However, since showing regret is usually perceived as weakness, this feeling is not wanted to be shown. It is often possible for a person to clear themselves with regret. In fact, in my opinion, not regretting when you are wrong is a "defect of vision". Likewise, regretting for an inappropriate behavior and attitude, It is like always standing on the sharp side of the knife. However, regretting requires taking the risk of moving to the "blunt" side of the knife, which does not cut..
How lucky are those who never regret (!); how perfect people they are! However, I believe that there are no perfect people on earth. I understand this from the constant march/desire of a person towards "perfection". Of course, if you are a member of a political structure, when you regret, you also become a "traitor", a "betrayer". After all, they know best; regretting the activities done with them is deviating from the truth!.
What is the point of narrowing down life and building invisible walls around ourselves, thinking that we will not regret! Because, regretting and not being able to express it creates a situation that narrows down life for the person. Expressing this new situation, the view captured from a different perspective, in the form of regret must be like tearing down the invisible walls that imprison him. After all, isn't every person a solitary cell? either it opens the doors of that cell and liberates your soul (don't get me wrong, I'm not saying regret absolutely liberates) or it closes all its doors and gives the key to the "absolute and only truth". However, does regret close the gaps inside a person or open new gaps? This varies from person to person and from situation to situation..
What else is regret other than the earthquake inside a person's head gradually spreading to their heart... In some cases of regret, you may find yourself fighting with your "friends" alongside your enemy. There is another aspect to this..
A person's inability to express regret is, in a sense, building a prison within themselves... A prison that only has an entrance but no exit. It should be known that a prison without an exit is where you will die..
Regret is actually a person's self-criticism. Depriving oneself of this is the greatest evil one can do to oneself. It should be understood that I do not intend to glorify regret, not at all. However, such an important emotional state has not been written about to the extent it deserves until today; at least to my knowledge..
Whether it is because of the fear of falling away from the social group or political movement we are a part of, or because we see it as a weakness or because we think people will run away from us as if they saw a leper, regrets are carried like a heavy burden in our minds and hearts. However, how can people relax without getting rid of an unnecessary "burden"? If a person does not want to continue their life with a "deficit", expressing their regret -if they regret- will relax them; it will help them reproduce themselves..
I do not know how many years of my life I will have completed when I die... I have had many regrets during this process, and there will be more. But I hope that my regrets will always be justified from now on. I will have embraced all of humanity and saved a little bit of my honor.