Ο Ergin Erkiner έγραψε την Εξορία και την κατάρρευση των γάμων

Exile and the breakdown of marriages

Engin Erkiner

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What is meant by marriage here is not necessarily a formal marriage, it can also be a man and a woman living together. 

span>Two people have to leave the country because they are wanted. For a while, their asylum applications are accepted and they try to get their lives in order, and then the problems begin. These are problems that are not experienced in Turkey.

Women and men met in a quite different environment and started living together, then came to a different country. The conditions of the new country affect these people differently, and they begin to develop in different directions. 

It is not enough to have an agreement at the beginning, over time and especially in time. In cases where the country is changed, it is also necessary to show parallel developments. When the development of men and women takes place in different directions, first the problems increase, and then  separation would be inevitable.

People from different countries experienced this development. Kurdish exiles would live as well as Turks.

It is a normal development and it is not possible to take measures against it. 

As the exiles come from one Turkey to another, among the people who speak their language and came years ago, they do not go out of this environment for a short or long period of time. This means that the value judgments and relationship style in the previous country will continue to a large extent. However, different value judgments, behavior patterns, and male-female relations in the society in which they live will inevitably affect the newcomers. This effect may take a long time to appear, but it will certainly affect it.

Exiles are usually organized people. Since their separation would be a bad example and this example could spread, the organizations they are affiliated with may intervene in their disagreements and separation from each other. This does not happen all the time, but it is common. 

To be influenced by the new society, such as the discovery of feminism and sexual freedom, is considered corruption.  ;

In any case, it is not easy to start a new life and to break away from the environment one has lived in until that day. Some people can afford it, some can't, and the union continues even if it is full of problems.

Exile means rupture at different rates. 

This break is not only limited to moving away from the country where one lives, but it expands as the influence of the value judgments there decreases and even to the separation with the person living together. 

< p> The fact that many people, which will be discussed in one of the next articles, are against going abroad even if it is necessary, is based on the fear created by this great change. 

< p> Exile means rupture. 

What has to change means the ability to replace it, and this cannot be done by everyone.